Can Divorce Strengthen Father-Child Bonds?

Family dynamics are different in every situation and household. However, some trends tend to be true in many families, and the strongest of those trends is that the mother traditionally has a stronger bond with kids than the father. While modern households with working moms and stay-at-home-dads are bucking this trend somewhat, it’s still prevalent in many households. Oddly, divorce can actually help to break this trend, and strengthen the father-child bond.

Divorced dads often try harder.

It’s a sad truth that in many family situations, two working parents take their family time for granted. They come home, spend time with the kids, read the paper while eating dinner, and generally expect it to be the same every day. Those parents are so busy living their lives that it never occurs to them things might change, and therefore they take their kids for granted.

Divorce changes that dynamic. When you no longer come home to your kids every night, you begin to value time that you spend with them a lot more. Parents who share custody are more likely to make it a point to spend time with their kids when the kids are around, instead of simply take them for granted as an accessory in a busy household. In many cases, dads who see their kids less often try harder than dads who see their kids every day.

Technology makes it easier for dads to connect with kids.

Kids today use all kinds of social networking technology to stay in touch with friends. Facebook, MySpace, Twitter – all these things are avenues for kids to communicate with one another and stay in touch with each other’s lives. However, dads can also use this technology to stay in touch with kids even when they don’t see them as often. Liberal use of social networking technology makes it possible for dads to stay in touch with kids even when they’re apart for days or weeks at a time, strengthening the father-child bond.

Divorce doesn’t have to spell bad news for your family.

Ultimately, divorce doesn’t have to be a bad thing for your family. If both parents are committed to making their children’s lives good, they can work together to develop appropriate time and custody sharing to enable both parents to be a large part of the kids’ lives. And by taking mom out of the equation sometimes, dad gets an opportunity to bond with the kids one-on-one, and ultimately strengthen the father-child bond. Use divorce as an opportunity to get closer to your kids; not to let them drift away.