Should I let my spouse visit the kids before the Judge orders visitation?

Should I let my spouse visit the kids before the Judge orders visitation?

Another question we are often asked is whether our clients should let their spouse see the kids before the court decides visitation. Our answer is that it is best for both parties to work together and make the divorce process, including visitation, as easy for the children as possible.  Remember, the courts are putting the kids first.  Your concerns as a spouse are inconsequential compared to
the welfare of your children.  What this means is that it is best for you as a spouse to work with your partner with regards to visitation.  Be reasonable.  We know that there are often very strong emotions involved.  You might not want to talk to your spouse, you might not want to see your spouse, and you certainly don’t want to do anything to make your spouse’s life easier.  But for the sake of your children, you need to put this aside.  We all know that it is very important for children to have a relationship with both their father and their mother.  Accordingly, go out of your way to do what you can and encourage a relationship between your kids and your spouse.  If this means letting your spouse have visitation before the court decides what the arrangement’s going to be, so be it.  Remember, put your kids first.

Now, there is one exception to this rule.  If you have a legitimate, real fear that your spouse might abuse your children, you need to seek a protective order immediately.  There are very few true emergencies in divorce cases, but this is one of them.  Either you by yourself or with the assistance of an attorney should petition the court and ask for a restraining order prohibiting your spouse from seeing the kids.  Know that you need strong grounds for this protective order.