A divorce is not an easy thing to go through. Even if it’s a joint decision, you’re still dealing with a lot of painful emotions around the end of a relationship, and potentially a long-term partnership. If it’s not a joint decision, you may be feeling even worse. Unfortunately, it’s far too easy to let your feelings overwhelm all areas of your life, but it’s absolutely vital to avoid doing that.

Don’t let your divorce affect your job.

If you’re getting a divorce, you’ll need your job more than ever. Financial stability can help you plan for your future, and compensate for the loss of your spouse’s income. Losing your job creates a vacuum that can suck everything else into it, but hanging onto your job is helpful for more than just financial support.

Your job gets you out of the house every day. Your job forces you to get out of your own head and concentrate on something else for eight hours a day. For most people going through a divorce, this is a blessing. You might feel distracted, but try to concentrate on your work and leave your divorce at the door when you come in. You’ll find it’s a relief to escape the overwhelming feelings for a while, and taking care of your job is a good way to take care of yourself.

Take care of your personal life when you’re getting a divorce.

People deal with negative emotions in a variety of ways. Some people withdraw from all social activity and seclude themselves to be alone with their thoughts. Other people seek out their friends for comfort, and talk things through until they’re feeling better. Try to strike a happy medium with your social life throughout your divorce.

Your friends will be pretty understanding when you’re going through a divorce. They’ll listen with patience as you talk about things, but try not to overstep the bounds of their patience. Let them talk to you about things going on in their lives, too, and you might find that you enjoy the break from your troubles. Go out and do things with your friends, even if you only feel like sitting around at home alone. You’ll want those friends when the divorce is all done, so don’t neglect or abuse them while it’s happening.

Remember that your kids need stability.

You might be feeling extremely vulnerable and unhappy because of your divorce. You might want to talk to someone, and have a captive audience in your kids. Or you might be seeking to recapture something for yourself in a world that has been about your spouse and your family for years. As you go through your divorce, keep in mind that your kids need stability, and they need you to keep your emotions under control.

Try not to break down in front of your kids, or abuse your spouse to your kids. Don’t leave your kids alone while you go out with friends and party in an attempt to forget your troubles. Your kids need stability more than ever during a divorce, and it’s your job as a parent to provide it. Enlist the aid of friends and family if you need to, but make sure your kids know first and foremost that you love them, and that you’ll do what you need to in order to ensure their lifestyle is safe and protected.

Imagine this: you’re married for 18 years. You’ve got three beautiful children together. You’re committed to your relationship and your life; so committed that when one of you needs a kidney transplant, the other steps up and provides the kidney.

What happens when all that comes crashing down, and one of you asks for a divorce?

This happened to a doctor from New York and his wife. She needed a kidney transplant in 2001, and he gave her his kidney and saved her life.

When she filed for divorce in 2005, he asked for the kidney back, or its value, in the settlement – a value he estimates at $1.5 million.

Where to start with what is wrong with this?

Does this doctor really think he can gain anything by asking the Court to give him his kidney back?  Or maybe he thought such an outrageous offer would make the $1.5 million “alternative” seem reasonable?

Either way, this was a stupid argument (my three kids think stupid is a curse word, but no other word conveys exactly how I feel about this argument).  A gift is a gift, especially if it is permanently attached to your wife’s body!

So who is to blame for this?  I really don’t put much blame on the doctor.  Nothing in life can make you act like a fool more than affairs of the heart. The pain of lost love or betrayal makes normally smart people act like fools.

That’s exactly why you hire a lawyer! The lawyer is supposed to be an objective advocate.  A lawyer is supposed to stop you for doing stupid things like telling a judge (and the whole world) you want your wife’s kidney back.  So who do I blame?

I blame the lawyer.